i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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