I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have fence marks all over my body
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
