New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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