So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
