Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize