Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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