my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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