What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize