A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
