I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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