He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
