Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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