Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
