He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
