my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
