dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
