Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
