I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
