tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize