i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize