You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
