Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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