Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
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My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize