try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
