Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
