I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
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Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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