I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize