she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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