Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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