I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
