so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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