We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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