"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off