Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office

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(336): 1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office http://tfl.nu/b4dd

Replies (18) Good night (4953) Bad night (508)
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(210): View more from Texas

masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.

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(210): masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know. http://tfl.nu/gdcq

Replies (32) Good night (700) Bad night (5627)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.

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(612): These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit. http://tfl.nu/pqn2

Replies (9) Good night (1394) Bad night (3969)
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(480): View more from Arizona

From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.

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(480): From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him. http://tfl.nu/9mdh

Replies (23) Good night (6035) Bad night (1300)
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(954): View more from Florida

STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA

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(954): STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA http://tfl.nu/oiv6

Replies (21) Good night (1516) Bad night (3878)
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(607): View more from New York

his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.

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(607): his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop. http://tfl.nu/p3uz

Replies (10) Good night (3670) Bad night (821)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?

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(678): Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up? http://tfl.nu/320o

Replies (10) Good night (2886) Bad night (907)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.

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(781): And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today. http://tfl.nu/2n0s

Replies (21) Good night (2863) Bad night (679)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.

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(616): Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing. http://tfl.nu/tiqf

Replies (2) Good night (1321) Bad night (493)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.

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(919): What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic. http://tfl.nu/uq7x

Replies (19) Good night (3132) Bad night (688)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...

(262): View more from Wisconsin

I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.

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(262): She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor... (262): I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho. http://tfl.nu/4nj6

Replies (8) Good night (1519) Bad night (709)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white

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(610): I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white http://tfl.nu/fhnw

Replies (5) Good night (859) Bad night (576)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Got another job?

(607): View more from New York

If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.

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(740): Got another job? (607): If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job. http://tfl.nu/7dk4

Replies (1) Good night (644) Bad night (284)
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(406): View more from Montana

My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.

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(406): My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college. http://tfl.nu/7goj

Replies (3) Good night (464) Bad night (354)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.

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(617): the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it. http://tfl.nu/pyx3

Replies (3) Good night (1268) Bad night (365)

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