I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.