hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza