Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now

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  (310): I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now http://tfl.nu/1fy0
  Replies (2) Good night (1374) Bad night (699)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.

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  (267): i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts? (267): i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about. http://tfl.nu/nsac
  Replies (51) Good night (3395) Bad night (1021)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.

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  (765): he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time. http://tfl.nu/3wkx
  Replies (22) Good night (659) Bad night (3116)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...

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  (404): think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room... http://tfl.nu/3nok
  Replies (17) Good night (5030) Bad night (699)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...

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  (630): you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling... http://tfl.nu/h6kn
  Replies (38) Good night (1088) Bad night (3926)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  How did you steal an entire pie?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I don't know. It's in my purse.

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  (503): How did you steal an entire pie? (602): I don't know. It's in my purse. http://tfl.nu/b3mp
  Replies (22) Good night (11674) Bad night (1252)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets

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  (248): Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets http://tfl.nu/6e6g
  Replies (6) Good night (2902) Bad night (963)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.

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  (770): I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected. http://tfl.nu/i708
  Replies (17) Good night (5136) Bad night (1148)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.

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  (716): I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle. http://tfl.nu/lk8z
  Replies (25) Good night (6041) Bad night (1325)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.

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  (734): Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out. http://tfl.nu/s89t
  Replies (9) Good night (3866) Bad night (858)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.

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  (248): My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment. http://tfl.nu/qz9q
  Replies (17) Good night (4063) Bad night (840)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.

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  (416): I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now. http://tfl.nu/vurn
  Replies (5) Good night (1249) Bad night (638)
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  (212): View more from New York

  That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!

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  (212): That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS! http://tfl.nu/7667
  Replies (12) Good night (1812) Bad night (792)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"

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  (647): Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?" http://tfl.nu/c4jm
  Replies (2) Good night (474) Bad night (1012)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year

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  (+61): My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year http://tfl.nu/vd1g
  Replies (0) Good night (578) Bad night (407)

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