Texts From Last Night

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  (789): View more from

  If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.

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  (789): If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days. http://tfl.nu/hp74
  Replies (26) Good night (5889) Bad night (1009)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...

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  (936): im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses... http://tfl.nu/w5rv
  Replies (6) Good night (3780) Bad night (1028)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.

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  (360): just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop. http://tfl.nu/n7ra
  Replies (48) Good night (3910) Bad night (1097)
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  (925): View more from California

  its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife

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  (925): its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife http://tfl.nu/e55k
  Replies (17) Good night (4026) Bad night (1243)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.

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  (580): She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head. http://tfl.nu/4ro8
  Replies (28) Good night (8736) Bad night (984)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.

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  (317): Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor. http://tfl.nu/i4di
  Replies (15) Good night (1036) Bad night (3009)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.

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  (+44): she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together. http://tfl.nu/1f9e
  Replies (2) Good night (3006) Bad night (1254)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.

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  (763): Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/r7p2
  Replies (7) Good night (5725) Bad night (1234)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.

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  (850): It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons. http://tfl.nu/qh0d
  Replies (8) Good night (923) Bad night (2549)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.

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  (715): I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record. http://tfl.nu/1ug5
  Replies (12) Good night (851) Bad night (2901)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.

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  (229): I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland. http://tfl.nu/f2v9
  Replies (17) Good night (2810) Bad night (894)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.

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  (716): You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole. http://tfl.nu/l1gi
  Replies (2) Good night (1374) Bad night (623)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.

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  (910): I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way. http://tfl.nu/yh0e
  Replies (2) Good night (1431) Bad night (506)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us

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  (912): We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us http://tfl.nu/f6nz
  Replies (3) Good night (1097) Bad night (371)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!

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  (419): Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!! http://tfl.nu/h9u7
  Replies (0) Good night (568) Bad night (271)

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