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• (443): View more from Maryland

  He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid

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• (619): View more from California

  I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on

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• (661): View more from California

  I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.

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• (951): View more from California

  I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?

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