tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
