it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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