i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
be right there i have to get my cape
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
