if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
