i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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