so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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