David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
