If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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