The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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