I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
