I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
