So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
