Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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