The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
