i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
