Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
