I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
