Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
