The maid of honor just puked.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize