So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
