If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
