is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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