I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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