Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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