I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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