Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
