You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
