A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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