I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
