Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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