Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
