sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
