Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
pray to the hookup gods
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize