I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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