Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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