i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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