I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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