Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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