And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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