You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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